My husband beat me into telling him where my lover lives...but i still want him back

My husband was so mad with rage when he found I’d been having an affair that he punched me and went round to see my lover armed with a club.

I’m 26 and my husband’s 34. We’ve been married for six years and have a son together. My husband found out about my affair when he saw texts on my phone I’d forgotten to delete. It had been going on for three years. 

He made me change my phone number and delete my Facebook account. He made me show him where my lover lives. I didn’t want to, but he punched me so hard I had no choice.

I thought he was going to kill us as he drove to my lover’s house. He had a club underneath the driver’s seat. I knew he was angry but I’d never seen him like this before and I was so scared.

Thankfully my lover wasn’t in but my husband has kept a note of where he lives and I’ve no doubt he’ll go round there and do something he’ll regret. I bitterly regret the affair. It was just fun and excitement.

I got off on the fact that another guy found me attractive. I was intimate with my lover on so many levels and that also hurts my husband. He wants to know why the affair carried on for so long.

I don’t know why I kept it going. I suppose it was because I could. I guess I wanted both, my married life and that little bit extra. I know I’ve made a huge mistake and regret everything. I still want my husband.
I want to make our marriage work, but my husband doesn’t and there is nothing I can do.